


A Man And His Scarecrow

by Vintageweedkiller



Category: DCU, gotham universe - Fandom
Genre: M/M, No one actually ships this, What am I doing, What can break a bat and enlighten the clown? Fear, i think they're cute
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-09-21 08:18:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17040143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vintageweedkiller/pseuds/Vintageweedkiller
Summary: Jonathan Crane is enlisted into the GCPD along with Ms. Harley Quinzel as Psychiatrists working with criminals, but Cane may have bit off more than he could chew with Mr. Nygma.





	1. New Friends

 

  "Welcome to the force, Mr. Cane, Ms. Quinzel." Lieutenant Gordan stood up and shook both psychiatrist's hands, smiling as he did so. Jonathan noted his shake was firm and calloused.   
"No, thank you, Mr. Gordan," Harleen spoke, her smile kind. She looked to Jonathan and nodded. He cleared his throat and stood. "It's a pleasure to be working with the GCPD, Gordan. We'll make sure your criminals are worthy of Arkham or not."   
Gordon nodded and sat down, sighing. "Alright then," he sighed. "Off you go. Ed?" He asked. A man across from Harvey Dent looked up, his glasses sliding gently. "Yes, Gordon?" He asked, walking over. "Please, take Mr. Cane and Ms. Quinzel to their offices. You can show them around the GCPD, how's it sound?"   
 "It sounds fine, sir," Edward agreed. He nodded to the psychiatrists. "Nygma. Edward Nygma. Head of foresnsics. A pleasure to meet you."   
 "The pleasure's ours," Harleen mused, her accent making 'ours' sound more like 'hours'. Cane found it terribly annoying. "Jonathan Cane." The man took Edward's hand in a soft handshake, smiling. Nygma seemed to be holding something back as he smiled sweetly. "What's got hands, a face, but no body?"   
 "Is this a riddle?" asked Harleen, looking to Jonathan quizzically. "I'm horrible with riddles." Jonathan rolled his eyes. "A clock," he answered. "Correct!" Piped Edward, smiling.   
 "Get a move on, Ed," mumbled Gordan. Edward winced a bit, pushing his glasses up. "Very well. Cane, Quinzel, let's get a move on."   
Jonathan smiled kindly as he and Harleen followed Edward down the staircase and into the hall. 

   **PSYCHIACTRIC EVALUATION QUARTERS** read the sign above a long hall. Edward lead both of the two down it, mumbling riddles as he spoke. Jonathan watched his every move, a small smile on his lips as he listened. He knew better than to size up a coworker on the first day, but he couldn't help it. He was itching to know more about this Nygma character.   
 "Here's your office, Ms. Quinzel, Mr. Crane, yours is there." Edward pointed across the hall. "I'll leave you to your studies, then," he said softly. Jonathan took his arm and looked into Edward's eyes, his own blinking a few before he spoke, "let's talk in my office, Nygma. I've got a few questions for you."   
 "For me?" Edward asked, surprised. "I--uhm--well why not?" He asked nervously. The man was inches taller than Jonathan, but Crane sized him up to a meek, nervous man. He was no harm to Jonathan in any way. Harleen looked at the two, raising an eyebrow. "Everything alright, Johnny?"   
 "Right as rain, Harleen. Carry on now, dear," Jonathan grumbled, pulling Edward into his office and shutting the door. The room was bare, a desk, two chairs, and a whiteboard were the only things in it save for a window with bars over it. Jonathan took initiative and sat down, sitting his briefcase on the table with a soft  _chnk_. He unlocked it and started filling up the desk. Edward awkwardly sat down. "Mr. Crane--"   
 "Edward are you afraid of anything?" asked Jonathan, not looking up from his case. He was shuffling papers and slipping them into drawers.   
 "Pardon, Mr. Crane?" "Please, call me Jonathan. I asked if you were afraid of anything. You seem like quite the character, Edward, and I was just thinking if I could get a..  _read_ on your personality with a few trivial questions. The chemistry we share  _screams_ compatibility."   
 "Compatability? Mr--ah... Jonathan... I've only just met you. I don't think this is a proper time for a personality assessment..."   
 "If that's how you see it, then you can leave, Edward, but I really do hope you stay." Jonathan stopped with the papers and looked up, twisting his nose to push up his glasses. "I'd fancy becoming your friend."   
Edward stiffened, recalling his history with 'friends.' Jonathan read the air, something had shifted. "Well?" Jonathan asked. "What are you afraid of?"   
Edward didn't know what to say, so he blurted out his first thought: "The dark?"   
 "Is that so?" Jonathan asked, returning to peer into his drawer. "I'd think a man in  _forensics_ wouldn't be afraid of something so... Childish..."   
Edward bit his lip. "It's not the dark, per say, It's what could be  _in_ the dark."   
 "I see," Jonathan mused. "I can understand that. Many of my patients worry that, too, though," he looked up, meeting Edward's gaze "they usually all end up in Arkham anyway." An awkward silence ensued before Jonathan chuckled softly. "I'm kidding you. Most of them are just shaken little children, I'm not saying you deserve to be in Arkham, Edward. Take a joke!"   
 "Aha, yes," Edward said shakily. "I'm... fond of humor. One must have it to be in.. my line of work... heh... Ehem." He stood up, nodding. "Speaking of, I should  _really_ get back. It was lovely talking with you Mr. Crane, but my work needs me."   
 "Understood, Edward. Have a nice afternoon," purred Jonathan, looking up and smiling. "I'm so glad to meet your aquaintance. I do hope we meet again."   
Edward smiled and nodded, before slowly backing out of the office and shutting the door.   
 "Afraid... Of... The... Dark. There." Jonathan placed the sheet of paper on his desk, smiling. "That's a start, dear Nygma. That's a start. 

 


	2. Another Day Another Assessment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harleen and Jonathan are settling in just fine, but the tensions between they and Edward is undeniable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should note this is a major crossover/au  
> The story is set in the Gotham TV universe, however, Jonathan Crane is from the Batman Begins/Dark Knight Trilogy as well as Harleen being from the general comic background of Harley Quinn

 Jonathan opened the door to his office and set his case down, sighing gently. He opened it slowly, looking at what was inside with a warm, almost loving gaze. Out of it he lifted a chicken feed bag in the shape of a mask. He slid his arm into it and stared into its hollow eyes, smiling gently. "My scarecrow," he cooed. He fingered the stitchwork mouth and pulled a stray piece of hay from the lazy sly grin.  
 "Mr. Crane?" a voice asked from behind the door. Jonathan simply glanced up, placing the strand of hay on the desk. "Come in."  
The door opened and Edward stood at the door, reflexively backing up when he saw the mask. "Mr. Crane? What's that?" He asked.  
 "My mask, Edward. You see, I use it to get tough answers out of tricky patients. It's not too frightening to you and I," he turned the mask to face Edward "but the crazies? Oh, they can't  _stand_ it." Edward stood idly in the doorway, his face twitching in confusion before he finally remembered why he was in the Psych Eval. Hall. "Oh. Yes, speaking of--n-not the mask, of the Psych Hall--ah," Edward stammered. He pinched the bridge of his nose and grumbled under his breath before walking in and setting a manilla folder onto Jonathan's desk. "Sorry, Mr. Crane, I drank someone else's coffee this morning by accident." He grinned shakily. Jonathan cocked an eyebrow and slid the folder closer. "Hm... Thank you, Edward. Before you go,"   
Edward looked up.   
 "I've got a riddle for you."  
Edward looked up, surprised. "For me?" he asked almost shyly. "Yes, Ed, for you. Now, what breaks everytime you say a word?"   
 "Silence," Edward answered. "What was that for?" He asked, voice wavering.   
 "Just wanted to know if you knew your own game well enough," Jonathan mused. "I'm pleased. Would you like to have lunch with me this afternoon?"   
 "Lunch?" Edward asked, alarmed. "With  _me?_ Are you sure?" Jonathan laughed, removing his glasses and touching the arm of them to his lips. Edward stiffened and his face seemed to twitch and pull nervously. "W-well... I guess so...?"   
 "Good to hear Mr. Nygma!" Jonathan chuckled and sat back, sitting the mask on the desk and propping his legs up. "And Eddie, please, Jonathan. Hell--You can even call me Jon if it tickles you rightly."   
 "T-tickles me? Oh--Uhm." Jonathan lulled his eyes back in a smoky laugh, only to sit forward once again. "No pressure, Nygma. Really. Sorry to freak you out so early. I'm used to my previous co-workers."   
 edward turned his head to the door, but his eyes locked onto Jonathan. "Right--"   
  _"Jonny!"_ a shrill voice called. Harleen peeked behind Edward's shoulder and smiled. "Jonny I need ya, I gotta patient who just won't budge! Oh-!" She looked at Edward with sweet, sultry eyes. "Hello, Edward..." She mused. "Fancy seein' you here, puddin'..."   
Edward's face flamed red and he looked away, stepping inward and brushing Harleen off. She seemed unphased.   
 "A patient, Harleen? I need his records," Jonathan mumbled, standing up. He crossed the room swiftly, placing a hand onto Edward's shoulder, passing a small smirk as he followed Harleen into her office. "Got 'em right here, Jonny! C'mon, he's startin' a fuss."   
 Jonathan stopped once more, looking at Edward. "Close the door when you're done here, Eddy. I'll see you at 11 for lunch."   
 "M-mhm. Lunch. See you, J-Jonathan."   
 "See you." 


	3. I Know You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> During their lunch break, something happens between them.

 

 "Jonathan?" Edward asked behind the door. Jonathan's eyes flicked upwards to see the silhouette of the most pitiful man he'd ever seen and almost felt angry. Memories of his senior prom floated in with a silky hiss of satisfaction. He waved it away and beckoned Edward to join him inside. "Yes, come in Eddie."   
The door opened and Edward came in with a small bag, sitting it on the table. "I brought some things I'd picked up from town." Jonathan smiled sweetly and looked inside of it, Chinese wasn't the  _worst_ option, but he wasn't too fond of the taste of manufactured culture. "Thank you, dear," he answered despite himself. He'd picked out his dish as well as a bottle of water.   
 "I do wish I wasn't so swamped with work; I would have invited you back to my apartment and made dinner for us," Edward began. "I'm a great cook, decidedly better than Gotham's street food, but I'm pressed for time."   
 "Understandable, Eddie, truly. Thank you for agreeing to eat with me this afternoon, I haven't got any friends in the GCPD as of now." Edward looked at Jonathan with a quizzical look. "Ms. Harleen?"   
Jonathan scoffed, laughing into his wrist. "Hardly, Edward. She's a previous co-worker who I've managed to have the misfortune of working with  _here_. She's obsessive, Edward."   
 "She seems well enough, Mr. Crane," Edward hummed, placing a piece of food in his mouth. "Hmm," he hummed while swallowing. "She's sweet to me."   
 "Oh, Edward," Jonathan cooed. "She's crazier than the bozos in Arkham. Granted; we all are, but Harleen Quinzel..." He grabbed a piece of chicken with a chopstick and stared at it, inspecting it. "She's batshit."   
Edward watched as Jonathan ate it with a hateful vibe in the air, looking to his left out of nerves. "How do you figure?" He asked slowly.   
 "Jack Napier; early 20's. Goes by  _The Joker_ , heard of him?" Jonathan asked, raising an eyebrow. "Of course you have. Well, Ms. Harleen seems to think she can tame him, his chaotic soul is irreparable. She's fallen in  _love_ with the goon, how stupid can a woman be?" Jonathan seethed behind his glasses, kicking himself back and slumping a bit. Edward noted mentally that he should avoid any and all conversations with or about Ms. Quinzel.   
 "Before Ms. Kringle went missing," he said with a hefty throat clear. "She was one of the nicest women I'd ever met. I was quite fond of her... Do you have a partner, Jonathan?" He asked, leaning forward.   
 "You believe I can get one?" Jonathan asked, laughing. "Surely not, dear. I've got a personality a  _dictator_ wouldn't appreciate. I'm a cynic, critic, and pure unconcentrated dreariness. I've never once been loved by another person in my  _life_."   
 "Surely you've got someone who you fancied, Crane," Edward pressed. "Everyone has!"   
Jonathan caught on impeccably quick to Edward's game, but decided no harm in entertaining a child in a man's clothes. "Well..." he started. "There was  _one_ girl, in my senior year of high school..."   
 "Her name?" asked Edward. Jonathan sighed. "Sherry Squires. She had a very mature heir to herself, beautiful brunette hair and almond colored and aptly shaped eyes, her skin was pale but in no way was she sickly. I was so fond of her, but she belonged to another man, Bo Griggs." Jonathan sighed in longing. "Oh, you've no right to do that, Edward."   
 "Do what, Jonathan?" Edward asked, alarmed.   
 "Make me miss her," Jonathan answered.   
 "There's no need, Jonathan. Go find her, we can find her now that you're in the GCPD."   
Jonathan grinned in a small giggle. "Oh, Eddie, I'm afraid I can't do that."   
 "Why is that, Jonathan?" Edward asked.   
 "Oh, because necrophilia is illegal."   
Absolute silence. The lack of sound was so palpable that Jonathan was sure that if he were to drop a pin, It'd be deafening. "What?" Asked Edward.   
 "Sherry died in an unfortunate car crash with Bo Griggs after senior prom. It was tragic, the funeral was too difficult to go to. I decided against it."   
 "Oh," Edward breathed. "That's... Upsetting."   
 "You said Ms. Kringle is missing?" Jonathan asked. Edward choked in response. "Y-yes, she is. She... left with Officer Tom Dourdy. O-only left a note."   
 "Why so nervous, Ed?" Jonathan asked cooly.   
 "Well--I--" stammered Edward, neck red and face slick with sweat.   
Jonathan sighed and smiled, leaning forward. "Edward?" he asked.   
 "Yes, Jonathan?"   
 "Did you kill Ms. Kringle?" he asked. Edward looked like the air had been sucked out of him with a vacuum, paler than a ghost and eyes wider than the moon. "N--"   
 "Would you like to know a secret, Edward?"   
 "I--"   
 " _I_ caused the crash with Bo and Sherry. I lept onto their car, they sped out and it was  _my_ doing. Bo is paralyzed from the waist down, scared shitless, and my dear Sherry? She's six feet under." Jonathan sat back, smiling knowingly. "We're all crazy here, Eds. What're a few bloodstains on your hands? We've all got demons."   
 "Jonathan..." Whimpered Edward.   
Jonathan just smiled. "Well, I'm stuffed! You should head back to work, Eds. I wouldn't want to keep you. The food was lovely, thank you so much for it. I'll see you tomorrow then?"   
 "Uhm," stammered Edward. "S-sure... Yeah. Tomorrow..."   
 "Well, be on your way, dear. We'll talk later. Au revoir."   
 "Yes... Bye, Jonathan."   
 "Goodbye, Edward." 


End file.
